Monday, September 15, 2008

incognito

incognito

The morning light breaks just beyond the Horizon, Fajr has passed and another fast takes hold. Not quite understanding my life is an understatement, floating with the current (not unhappily), with a little steer here and there to avoid major pitfalls, life has carried me into my mid twenties and quite rapidly I might add. There is a sense of amusing bewilderment that I am where I am. Not so long ago I was so far from here reading about Gen13, X-Men, the HULK…

Distinctly individual I used to think; but now dressed in a shirt, tie, shoes and of course brushed hair, I cant help but wonder how the hell did ordinary happen to me?!?! Here I find myself, “the consultant” mild mannered, bright, amicable and all those words that describe the in-between-er, the regular, everyday average.

Yet there is a raging inferno inside me screaming to break free, to run in the wild, beyond traffic jams, smoky rooms, beyond luxurious restaurants, money figures, traffic lights and taxis. To yell in open fields, swim in the ocean and breath some fresh f**king air! Some say this is the jungle it is not my jungle, it feels more like a prison. High rise, with no sun rise. I have a Hulk in me and its shouting to break out, yearning to tear off the tie and double cuff blue shirt of this mild mannered consultant.

Hulk is in us all, it is that fight against the matrix, against normality.

I was always under the impression that dreams becoming reality is hard to come by, never thought dreams themselves are hard to find. Now I dream of having a dream to follow. To give me some reason not to be ordinary.

I write these last words as I (the consultant) prepares to take the stage and present yet another mild mannered workshop.

If a chameleon keeps changing colour do u think it will eventually loose its own colour? Or do you just let it be?

5 comments:

ZK said...

wow you alive :)
you have grown
you just let it be...

bb_aisha said...

Considering your last post was over a year ago, i'm forgiven for forgetting you blog:-) But it's about quality not quantity and this is good stuff. I empathise- I dread the mundanity of suburbia, the bourgoise lifestyle we live becoming us, and thus we forget those maverick dreams of our younger years. But yet we need our jobs to enable us to live those dreams. Therefore what/who says we can't be the inner 'hulk'. We can!

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